Tuesday, January 27, 2009
Sunday, January 25, 2009
And yet to come: Gideon returns from a two year mission in Atlanta! He will arrive here on Friday (for a day or so) on his way back home to California. Can't wait to see him.
Thursday, January 22, 2009
Then came Lill. A completely new kind of machine. I couldn't help but excitedly grab the video camera when she waved "BYE BYE!" for the first time today. I made her do all the tricks, this genius child of mine! Though I've seen it all before, it's still so new. She smells different, tastes different, smiles differently, has more teeth. She has almost three pounds on Grace at this age. Though the green snot volume is on a high today and my eyes permanently burn, I absolutely love watching each of these creatures grow up.
Tuesday, January 20, 2009
When I was 16, I sat on my bedroom floor for several days straight reading Roots by Alex Haley. I wept through most of it, got sick, got sad. My confidence in the human race was shaken and stirred. Today I saw a black man at the podium and it was a victory for every American that has only wanted peace from the beginning. On all issues, may Barack Obama deliver at least in part what he has promised to our constantly evolving society. I hope the promises he has made can transfer into successes for our country. I hope his presidency gathers together the ranks of young people in our country and helps them truly believe in America.
...And how rad was the closing prayer guy?
Monday, January 19, 2009
It's Martin Luther King Day and we are celebrating. With the flu. At four in the morning we had the older girls both in our bed, I fetched the throw up bowl and Daddy cleaned up. As I rested my hand on the hot skin of her back, I told Grace, "It will all be over soon"! She didn't believe me so I told stories about baby goats, rivers, and Raspberry Pie. It seemed to help a little. Now we all wait with breath drawn in to see who gets the pukes next.
Tuesday, January 13, 2009
p.s. I really love Jacob these days. He knows what to say to make me feel really awesome. And there is nothing funnier than watching The Bachelor with him. He turns into a chatterbox and has so many tidbits stored in that brain of his.
Monday, January 12, 2009
I left there and found myself walking into the school parking lot deep in thought. Lillie was there in the stroller right in front of me, only 6 months into her busy little life. Her thumb was moving back and forth, back and forth, against the grooved nylon strap of the seat belt, her eyes staring straight forward. As she memorized the feeling of nylon, its rough texture and edges, she breathed in the breeze as it pushed its way up her nose and watched the leaves moving across the cement.
She is the next big thing. She will move on from feeling straps and breathing wind without a conscious thought. She'll move onto crawling and walking and picking up cheerios with her thumb and forefinger. Pretty soon she'll be worried about why Molly wears oil in her hair and what her teacher's first name is. Today I felt like I was truly in the middle of a cycle. Right smack in the middle. I guess my own mother probably realized this along the line. And now it's hit me. In my 29th year. My place in this huge moving circle. Helping the little ones get to where they're going and stunned at the truth that they'll get there no matter what.
Friday, January 09, 2009
I posted something on The Apron Stage today. Three cheers for the outside world! May I remain part of it for as long as possible...
Thursday, January 08, 2009
Ruby Jean Smylie. Lover of music, of soulful dancing, and questioning the obvious. She's painfully persistent. Her cheeks are always full of annoying noises saved for a long boring winter's day. She also likes to tell me what shape her poo turned out to be that day, "just like Wall-e's arm, Mommy!". She's tough, real tough, and real snuggly.
She often cups her hands around my face and repeats the same phrases over and over, "Lillie is a baby, huh? Lillie is a baby, huh? Lillie is a baby, huh?", and I answer "yes" every time. In that moment, I'm hers, all hers. I am really in love with her today.
Wednesday, January 07, 2009
Tuesday, January 06, 2009
Monday, January 05, 2009
How do I let this chunk of fluffy beauty go out into the world? HOW? I am absolutely not ready for her to go back to the gritty, stringent kindergarten classroom, sweaty playground and anonymous cafeteria. The school schedule causes us to plunge back into those busy afternoons when she arrives home with murder on the brain and disrupts the peace of our home with the angst, jealousy and unrest that comes from being social and well behaved all day. I'm not ready for it. I want to keep her home, keep the comings and goings away and just listen to her and her sister's voice float through the air at lunch time while my heart beats calmly behind our locked front door.