Why is my list so long? Things I worry might happen to her, to them. It goes on and on with multiple possibilities. Say she dodges them all, the mean fifth grade friends, the teenage angst, all the hard stuff. She graduates from high school pretty unscathed, and with a few close friends and decent grades, gets into college. Let's say she gets that far and is fairly unharmed.
Things seem to just get more complex. What if she marries wrong and is unhappy? What if she has a family and loses a child? It's horrible to think about. But I do. And then for instance, all our prayers are answered and she handles her life well, deals with small problems, gets the main things she's always hoped for, and her sisters do the same, will I then be able to breathe?
Will I ever stop picturing her as a warmish red infant in my arms, me so afraid to be her mother, so afraid to let my heart love a little human so strongly?